#Funny quotes about endings manuals#

“Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute.” -Unknown “When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. “Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You’re only interested in one thing,” and you can’t remember what it is.” -Milton Berle “Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got.” -Sophia Loren “Older women are best because they always think they may be doing it for the last time.” -Ian Fleming “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful…Hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.” -Unknown If you want an education, go to the library.” -Frank Zappa “Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.” -Kevin Costner “Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.” -Bill Cosby

#Funny quotes about endings manuals#

“Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software.” -Arthur C. “I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.” -Chelsea Handler “It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. “Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results,but that’s not why we do it.” -Richard Feynman “Sex education classes are like in-home sales parties for abortions.” -Phyllis Schlafly Love is blind but the neighbors ain’t!” -Unknown “Sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope you don’t multiply.” -Phil Proctor “It’s so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.” -Joan Rivers Funny Sex Quotes and Sayings “I cant taste my lips could you do it for me.” -Unknown “Men get laid, but women get screwed.” -Quentin Crisp “Software is like sex: it’s better when it’s free.” -Linus Torvalds “Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.” -Woody Allen “A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.” -Gloria Steinem “My best birth control now is to leave the lights on.” -Joan Rivers “I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.” -Unknown “Sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off.” -Unknown “Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.” -Unknown “Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.” -George Burns “Sex is the biggest nothing of all time.” -Andy Warhol “Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night.” -Woody Allen “They say try everything once, not everyone once.” -Unknown “The best time of day for sex is anytime, because it’s sex.” -Cameron Diaz “Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.” -Robert A. “Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.” -Suze Orman “Women need a reason to have sex men just need a place.” -Billy Crystal

“It’s the good girls who keep diaries the bad girls never have the time.” -Unknown “Virginity is like a bubble – one prick and it’s all gone!” -Unknown “I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.” -Woody Allen If you’re good with grammar, you’ll get it.” -Unknown “Social progress can be measured by the social position of the female sex.” -Karl Marx

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. “My wife is a sex object – every time I ask for sex, she objects.” -Les Dawson “If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.” -Dorothy Parker